When you deny things you have got to pay up, pay up double or more. This could be true for individuals, families, societies and countries alike. This is true for the entire human kind as well.
Remember when we were kids, and we were denied something, we would wail our lungs out and our parents would have to budge. The sense of denial and subsequent use of power to get the denied would leave us asking for more. Initially it was two chocolates instead of one and then as we grow up, it moves to more material things.
As a society when we deny a section of its people essentials of life, be it in the name of caste struggle, religion, gender or economy; we should remember that this is not permanent, and the denied would garner power and then the oppressor would end up paying double. The problem with power is that, the oppressed when they garner power, it does not take time for them to be the oppressors.
Look around you, families, friends, colleagues…you will see examples of this all around.
Case 1: A child while growing up has seen his father being unfair to his mother, beat her up, and deny her the independence of existence. What does he do when he grows up? He grows with a protective behaviour for his mother, and goes to the extent where he sees everything as a threat to his mother. Slowly he grows more and then he lands up in a job, sees a girl and then gets married. If he has the endorsement of his mother, he is very happy; else he figures it as an act of denial towards his mother and then somehow a psychological struggle builds up. It messes up the whole god darn fabric of the family. Nothing remains the same again.
Case 2: A child while growing up has seen her father being unfair to her mother, beat her up, and deny her the independence of existence. What does she do when she grows up? She grows as a rebel, a staunch feminist, believes in changing the world and making it a better place to live in for her mother and the likes. She falls in love and quite easily and falls out of it as easily too, because she cannot trust anyone. She cannot compromise, because she has always seen her mother compromise and nothing good has come out of that. She has seen her mother cry and hope things will be alright someday. Now she does not want to leave that to chance or to God who was her mother’s refuge. That is a task she takes onto herself. She breaks everything that comes in the way of her independence and in the process breaks herself.
There could be many such cases and I am not saying that this is what happens all the time, but this happens often and when this happens we leave behind a trail of destruction, for generations to come. Standing up for what we believe is always the right thing, standing up with people we love is better.
Random scribbles from an old diary - Mridul